


Sleeves

by The_Forgotten_Nobody



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-15
Updated: 2014-08-15
Packaged: 2018-02-13 06:57:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2141433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Forgotten_Nobody/pseuds/The_Forgotten_Nobody
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Kieren, the scars on his wrist remind him of pain, of despair so powerful that it makes him think the world is going to end and the only way to stop it is to cut, to bleed, to reach oblivion.  For Simon, the ever present track marks on his arms remind him of nights alone where the only thing that matters is whether he can get a hit, and if not, then where he can find it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleeves

**Author's Note:**

> I had the beginning of this written for ages and since I haven't posted anything for this fandom in a while I thought I'd finish it.

For Kieren, the scars on his wrist remind him of pain, of despair so powerful that it makes him think the world is going to end and the only way to stop it is to cut, to bleed, to reach oblivion.  When Rick died he couldn’t imagine feeling happy again; how could he be when he was the one who’d sent his best friend, the one person who’d always been there for him, to die in a never-ending war.  He hadn’t deserved happiness and therefore Kieren hadn’t deserved life.  Looking at the scars now, he thinks of his family, the one he attempted to forget in that cave, cold, alone and so very, very angry.  Angry at Rick for dying, angry at himself for sending him there and angry at fate in general for taking away a good man’s life.  The scars tell him he’s selfish, that he should have thought about his family, thought of how it would affect his parents and Jem.  God, Jem had only just been entering her teenage years.  Kieren should have been there for her, given her help when she’d needed it so she wouldn’t become the bitter, scared girl he’d met when he came back.  At the time he’d thought he’d been saving them, saving them from having a murderer for a son.  His scars are full of pain and anguish.  He can’t stand to look at them so he pulls down his sleeves.

For Simon, the ever present track marks on his arms remind him of nights alone where the only thing that matters is whether he can get a hit, and if not, then where he can find it.  He remembers the chill of the winter air as he pushes in the needle, the only thing in his life that can satisfy the constant hunger and desire within him.  He recalls knowing they could kill him but he hadn’t cared, it had felt too good.  The pricks remind him of the parents he disappointed, of days spent screaming at each other.  Him, trying to justify his ways – he was an adult free to make his own choices- and his parents pleading for him to stop, to not destroy his life.  He regrets it now, of course he does.  The last he had spoken with his mother he had wished her and his father’s disappearance.  He had never thought he would be the one to cause it permanently.  Simon can’t bear to see his scars so finds comfort in the sleeves of his jumpers. 

Together, Kieren and Simon share these memories.  It’s difficult, and sometimes they struggle to get the words out, but they do and soon the burdens they bare begin to lighten.  Kieren’s heart no longer aches the way it did when he thinks of Rick, both pre-rising and after, and Simon’s nightmares as an addict and a killer lessen.  The season changes and with it the weather warms.  Kieren is the first to don a three quarter length shirt.  The day after Simon wears a t-shirt.  They may be ugly and harbour memories they’d like to forget, but they realise that they can’t and they can’t cover up forever.  Every mark defines them and that’s ok. 


End file.
